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12. I am a nobody and nobody is perfect, therefore, I am perfect.13. Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America???15. Having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked.17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words, "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun."These are compliments of DorsetmikeIn the convent a young girl has just reached the end of her novitiate and has an interview withMother Superior;"Do you wish to continue in the faith?" Yes Mother" OK, you will now be able to stop the duties you were tasked with as a novitiate, so that you have. Even though I was only going to assess her sore ankle, it felt a little erotic to be touching Jen's gorgeous legs. "So Jen, what else has gone wrong today?" I asked as the tartan hose got low enough down her leg to allow me to see her ankle, which I could see was already starting to swell a little. "This was supposed to be a romantic weekend away with my husband. We both came here for the Games. I dance and he throws hammers. He tore a muscle in his shoulder this morning and had to go to hospital. He's fine and at home resting now. On top of that, I've ruined my dance. I was really hoping to do well too!" "Aww," I replied. "I'm so sorry to hear that. I think your ankle's going to be fine if we can keep the swelling down. You stay here and I'll go and get a cold compress from the first aid tent. Back in a sec." "Kat, that's so kind. Thank you, but you really don't have to," Jen shouted as I turned and started to walk off. "Jen, really it's no trouble. I want to, and besides, I feel.
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